The positive affirmation, "I AM Worthy" is one of those that triggers us, though we often don't know why.
Recently, I posted it as a positive affirmation for my members of my Facebook Coaching group, to work with. Unsurprisingly, it triggered various people. One lady commented that some days she struggled to believe that she is worthy. I found myself reflecting about how sad this was for her & what could I offer that might help.
Who is running my life?
I'm always amazed at how memories in the unconscious mind run our show, our lives, all the time, 24/7, without a let up, and how that interferes with what we want in our lives or to do differently.
Until those feelings held in the unconscious mind have been healed, no matter how hard we 'try' to sow the seeds of something new, nothing changes.
This is just the start of a whole new beginning for you ~ IF you want to do, and have the courage for, the healing work ahead.
In March, I realised that although I am well versed in self-healing, I needed to dedicate an hour a day to work with and on myself. There were some unspecified niggles.
In April, having spent time reviewing what methods worked and those that had not worked so well for me in the past, I decided to revisit Ho'oponopono, and I spent an hour every afternoon working with myself intensively, on more inner healing.
Just so you know, I've been working on and with myself now for over 21 years - yet it seems only like yesterday since I started (which quantumly speaking it is!), moving through the healing spirals of life.
You may know about the Jungian idea of the "Inner Child" and that it is the Inner Child who runs the show.
Imagine that?!
My 0-7 year old Self is running who I am now as an adult, influencing how I show up in the world, how I react, how I am triggered! Oh. My. Word.! That's not what I expected. What an uncomfortable thought!
Some theorists suggest that this age range extends from 0 - 9 years old. Is this really what I want?
My 0-9 year old running my life?! Really???
The Inner Child running my outer life
It doesn't matter whether your Inner Child is 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9! The point that matters is that a Primary School age group IS in charge.
So how can that be?
Physically we've "grown up" adn that's confirmed in societal terms.
We've held various jobs & been promoted.
We've had various relationships - perhaps some went better than others.
We've left jobs were we've been bullied...or there's been a health issue that has spurred us on to take stock....
The disbelief at the statement that my "Inner Child runs my outer life" is causing me to pinch myself, to check that I'm not living in an alternative reality.
The idea of the Inner Child is that it's a piece of yourself, a soul fragment, that is frozen outside time. In shamanic healing, we bring Soul parts like this back via a Soul Retrieval healing, but let's concentrate on a different technique for now.
The Inner Child as the Brain's filing cabinet
I'm sure that you've heard the the brain is like a filing cabinet.
During that 0-7 (or 0-9) year period when you're a child, continuing your development, you are UN-filtered.
You are like a sponge.
You absorb everything.
Behaviours, thoughts, opinions, patterning all are absorbed from caregivers, friends, school teachers, and extended family.
If these are dysfunctional or threatening in some way, then they are stored & filed along with all the good thoughts, behaviours and feelings too. No distinction is made.
When we next encounter something that causes a feeling or a reaction in our lives, our internal filing cabinet drawers opens, & automatically finds the 'card' with the unfiltered, LEARNED behaviour, feeling, thought, pattern registered on it, and that is what we do.
We follow how we have been conditioned to think, feel etc.
And so on, until one day we think, "Surely there must be a better way?"
At this point, we may start casting around looking for external things to make us feel better.
Also, we may feel better for a time, but then, we slip and return to our unfiltered, learned, automatic behaviours, thoughts, feelings etc, as resistance to the idea of change rears its head, and we may be feeling....oh, so tired, that we don't have the energy to change who we are, how we behave, or how we think. We'll do it another day, and so we slip back into the old ways of doing things.
The Ho'oponopono story
When your experiences of Life have knocked you down again, and you are struggling to stand up once more, and face the situation, it can almost be too much to think that there might be a solution or a glimmer of light to start you off on the right tack, where you start to have the much-needed, long-overdue discussion with your Inner Child, where you can both heal.
For many years I have known about the exceptional work of Dr Ihaleakala Hew Len, a Hawaiian Psychiatrist, who healed an entire ward of mentally unwell criminals without seeing any of them! The Author, Joe Vitale, heard about Dr. Hew Len, and wanted to know how this could possibly have happened, and where the exaggeration may have occurred in the story. Joe Vitale and Dr. Hew Len collaborated together and the book, "Zero Limits" was written.
Dr. Hew Len said that all he did was "clean, clean on his perceptions of what he saw".
The story is amazing! It gives us a new and mind-blowing change in our own perception about how we create our Reality, our external world. When someone shows up in our lives, it's because we have created them.
The level of creation & the responsibility of what our thoughts (& how) can manifest is extraordinary. What if that bully is a creation of thoughts from our 4 year old self that is locked out of time? Or our health problem is from when we were 7 years old and are stuck in that energy and thoughts? It takes some getting used to the thought and concept that what is happening in your life is something that you created, that you called into your life....Scary to see how powerful manifestation can be!
When we work with and on ourselves, when we feel empowered, we can all accept that: Yes, I am responsible for me, for what I say, for what I do, how I react etc. Dr Hew Len said that, “If you create your own reality, then you have also created this person, and that person, and the other person too, and me.” This can be a bridge too far for some, I know, as I found myself turning away from Ho'oponopono for several years as it did feel really hard to accept all of this.
So, how did this all work for Dr. Hew Len?
Dr Hew Len would look at the patient charts. He would read it, and as he was reading it he’d feel into the words and then be aware that he was feeling things e.g. upset, frustrated, angry, embarrassed, enraged. Then he 'cleaned' on the feelings that he felt inside that had been triggered by what he read in the patient charts. He did not work with the patients, he didn't clean on the notes in the patient records. The truly amazing part of the story is that he cleaned the feelings that had been triggered in his mind and body by what he had read & seen.
Weird, huh?!
Ho'oponopono is not about correcting other people. It is all about taking responsibility for, and correcting the perceptions that we own/hold and which have manifested the external conditions that we now face.
How did Dr. Hew Len's patients do?
Very well! They got better without him ever seeing them! They were released back into Society as healthy individuals, and after 4 years of working by cleaning his perceptions and feelings, the Ward closed.
It is a miraculous story, one that is frequently hard to believe, but when you practice the formula that Dr. Hew Len used, it becomes possible to see how it may benefit us if we are dedicated to cleaning our Inner Child's thoughts and feelings. There are several good recordings of Dr. Hew Len on YouTube that you can dip into to find out more and to practice his amazing healing routine, just search for 'Ho'oponopono, Dr. Hew Len & Inner Child healing'.
Ho'oponopono is a Gift to ourselves
Ho'oponopono is a most beautiful gift that you can give to yourself, and it is the Art of Forgiveness. It is also an expression of self-Love.
The term Ho'oponopono translates as " to make things right" as in Hawaiian, 'pono' translates as 'balance', so when things are out of balance, healing is required.
Forgiveness, like worthiness, is something that most of us struggle with.
When something fills us with rage or deep pain, it is very difficult to open our hearts and to find Love or forgiveness for the person or activity that caused our feelings in the first place. It is 'easier' in some senses to sit in the pain or grief or rage and to fully feel it. However, unless we forgive ourselves, our perceptions and our feelings, it is us who we continue to hurt, not the other (though there may be a few energy darts thrown towards the triggering event or person).
To return to wholeness, (that is our Birthright), we must learn how to let go and forgive ourselves. It is not that we forgive the other for their actions or let them off the hook, particularly where the wound is so deep, but unless we heal ourselves, we continue to suffer pain that is damaging for our mental wellbeing, our physical wellbeing, our spiritual wellbeing and our lives in general.
It is sometimes said that naive people look at life through 'rose-tinted glasses'.
What if it is we who look through our lives with hate-filled glasses? Or pain-filled glasses? How does that help us to live wholesome lives?
That wounding goes deep within.
If we do not forgive ourselves, we cannot begin to heal and overtime, feelings like those, if left untreated, can lead to physical illness and do continuous harm to ourselves. The instigator who caused these original feelings in us gets away, and we suffer? Somehow this doesn't feel balanced to me!
Healing using Ho'oponopono
I address myself to the feelings first by saying: "Dear [whatever it is that I am feeling, I use a label e.g. Dear Shame, Dear Frustration, Dear Pain....]"
Then I use the mantra offered by Dr. Hew Len for cleaning feelings and perceptions:
I AM SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
I LOVE YOU
THANK YOU.
My process
Sit or lie down in a quiet space.
Light a candle (if this feels right for you).
Settle yourself.
Either find a Ho'oponopono YouTube clip to follow or learn the mantra (I do both depending on what I want to clear and how urgent the feelings are)
Dr. Hew Len has said that the most important relationship is that of the Mother (Conscious Mind) and the Inner Child (Unconscious Mind). If the Inner Child is running the show in my external world through how I react, think, and am triggered, then, I want to do some cleaning work with those memories.
I start off by saying:
Dear Pain (or whatever the emotion is that's been triggered in me)
I'M SORRY. [Sometime I add in: I don't know what the memories are that have been triggered, but you do, you remember. I don't need to remember, but you do].
PLEASE FORGIVE ME [and I add in: please forgive me for neglecting you and not caring about you for all these years. Please release all these memories that have been triggered to the Divine so that we may walk together with no memories.
I LOVE YOU. [I may also add in: I see you. You matter to me].
THANK YOU. [Finally, I may also add in the words: Thank you for giving us the opportunity to release these memories so that we can start again].
You do not need to add anything else in. I like to, but you do not. Just use the words in UPPER CASE if you'd prefer not to add anything in.
In some teachings it's suggested that you do 108 cycles of Ho'oponopono to clear the feelings. When the feeling is very stubborn, I do that. Otherwise, I practice the Cleaning mantra that Dr. Hew Len suggested for about 20 minutes, ensuring that I end with 'Thank You'.
Self-care, change & empowerment
It takes time to settle into a routine to fit in 20 minutes of Ho'oponopono each week let alone trying to work intensively and fit in 20 minutes a day. Science believes that it takes a minimum of 21 days to establish a new thought, routine or habit, so be gentle and thoughtful with yourself.
See your Ho'oponopono engagement as a time of self-care.
Your Inner Child has been running the show called your Life for a long time, and it may not be pleased to find that you are starting something new. Don't be surprised if you suddenly feel caught in a deluge of unexpected emotions that have been triggered by an unseen source. It may be your Inner Child striving to regain control.
Having said all of that, my Inner Child resisted my endeavours for about a week of daily practice. Each day I set time aside and said: "Dear Inner Child. I am sorry. Please forgive me for neglecting you. I love you. Thank you" over and over again. I knew that the mantra and cleaning had worked when my feelings shifted, and I started to feel connected with my Inner Child. Now she brings whatever she is feeling up to the surface of my mind and in my body, so I know that clearing is required.
Today, I look forward to setting time aside and cleaning the feelings that my Inner Child continues to hold, clearing the memories that are held in my brain's filing cabinet as I know that I am in the process of starting to give myself something new and positive to work, with instead of the same old, same old negativity that was dragging me down.
Ho'oponopono is a simple, yet incredibly powerful way to change, forgive yourself for reactions laid down at a time when you were developing and absorbing in an unfiltered manner, it is fabulous self-care, and it enables you to become the empowered direction that you are seeking in your own life.
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